BREAKING: Kraven the Hunter Auditions for Bond: In a Vengeful Ashton Martin (or Cybertruck)By Ms. Spec O. Temptation | Bond Girl-In-Waiting for better part of the early 20th century, Blunderz London

Disclaimer: Blunderz is a work of satire. It exists to mock, parody, and critique the absurdities of world we live in, including but not limited to, public discourse, celebrity culture, and the reckless wielding of influence. While real names, figures, and events may appear, all representations are fictional, exaggerated, and intentionally absurd. No statement, implication, or portrayal within this content should be construed as factual, nor should it be taken seriously by anyone of sound mind. If you find yourself offended, outraged, or uncomfortably self-aware, consider that a bonus feature. This program exists to remind you that the world is often ridiculous — and so are we.

While the world nervously sips its martinis and debates the next 007, Aaron Taylor-Johnson may have already left MI6 quaking in its Oxfords.

Thank God it’s not an American Bond. We asked a few of our correspondents to imagine Bezos (considering AMAZON-Via MGM, has co-ownership) in the tux, and since then, they've canceled Prime, deleted Alexa, and defected to TEMU.

“F*** the tariffs,” muttered one weeping Bond purist. “This is personal.”

After brooding through Kraven the Hunter and surviving Bullet Train in tailored brutality, ATJ is now being heavily rumored as the next Bond.

Blunderz has sources, mostly martini-fueled hallucinations (shaken, not stirred, we don’t give batsh*t – Courtesy, Daniel Craig, probably).

Enter: Ms. Temptation.Our fearless entertainment field agent, last seen seducing intel from a Rolex dealer in Shoreditch, emerged from the OMEGA underworld breathless, shaken and stirred:

“OMGOD.”

The cheekbones. The saunter. The Row vengeance.

But chaos struck Blunderz HQ.

In a jealous MI6.66-fueled spiral, a rogue “Q”- deranged, lovesick, and overdosed on Monster Energy,  sabotaged the mission and replaced Bond’s Aston Martin with a matte Cybertruck.

License to kill?

More like license to CRASH the franchise.

 “Who the F** Looks Like That?”*A Blunderz exposé on beauty, bullets & betrayal.

Coming soon. Or not.Exclusively on Blunderz.